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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 27, 2018 16:03:36 GMT -5
 my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
Bluepaw knew she should feel bad, feel bad about ripping her brother to shreds. But she didn’t. He got what he deserved, even if she didn’t want to fight him. She barely even thought about the fight, the only thing she could think of was the black tom that had snatched her up. It was weird how the world worked. He was a rogue, a man recovering from the loss of his wife. She was a women, yes a women, recovering from the loss of a girlfriend. The tital paw meant nothing. She was nearly 20 moons now, and she couldn’t be held back from being a warrior for much longer.
She had been falling so hard she had forgotten to get her wounds checked and they ached. Still, she couldn’t be fucked to get the medicine cat to give her wise opinion about them. They had no herbs and she was cleaning her wound with the snow, she didn’t need anything else.
Rolling her shoulders back and forth, she looked at the puffy lacerations in them. They weren’t that big, but deep enough to cause her shoulders to stiffen up. Her eye, that was forced shut from the cold and long slash across it didn’t hurt. It hurt like fuck for the first few days, but it didn’t anymore. It was just numb.
Her mind was on Maxie and getting back to the rogues, but something told her to keep walking with the clan for a bit, before returning to her group that trailed after the clans. Padding along slowly, her good eye wandered over the crowd.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2018 16:29:02 GMT -5
tell me about it, we are all lost inside
Its seems like the littlest thing made the greatest difference. Newtstorm hadn't made the quickest recovery but it was for the best. The scar on his chest healed like butter spread with a hot spread. The old crummy scar, became smooth and fur grew back neatly. It was almost like yesterday where he tripped over the dried pine root when he and Bluepaw was talking.
Bluepaw.
It's has been a long time they talked. Last time Newtstorm was on a death line, where he told Bluepaw to go. To go away, because he thought he was mouse meat dying. Newtstorm sighed, 'It's not like she would remember me . . .' He looked around, there were ton of grayish blue cat, his mind barely remembered her looks. All he remember was a blue figure, beautiful long tail, the flirtatious cat who was afraid of heights. She smiled thinking about it. 'Snap out of it' Newtstorm sighed, 'She probably living life out there . . ."
Turning around, Newtstorm tried to join the crowed of cat, he suddenly bumped in a blue figure.
"Ow-" 235 words
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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 27, 2018 16:50:02 GMT -5
my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
When someone bumped into her, she staggered forward. The sudden lurch forward caused the scabs on her shoulder to break and she let out a string of foul curses. She turned around to confront the cat that had bumped into her and she let out a small gasp.
Her mind didn’t jump straight to the name, but he was so shockingly familiar. The dark maroon pelt and vibrant emerald eyes. Then it came to her, all the memories flooding between them. She took a tiny step closer, her blue eye locked on him.
”You should be dead” Her voice trembling. She was so overwhelmed. He had died, well been as good as dead. She didn’t make any move to touch him, even as the tears built up in her good eye. ”I-You” She stuttered, unable to get any words out.
Newtpaw was here. He was here and he was alive. How? Was there a ghost standing in front of her?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2018 17:04:56 GMT -5
tell me about it, we are all lost inside
Newtstorm stared at the blue figured cat blankly, not catching on what has happened, until the thin blue she-cat mentioned that he had died. Her trembling voice made it hard for him to speak whats on his mind. Trying to choose his words carefully he thought for a while. Watching as the tear starting to build up in her eyes, he suddenly just froze, it's been too long for him to do a sudden embrace. Nothing he thought of would calm her down. He couldn't have say, 'I'm not dead' or something like . . . Newtstorm shooked his head and opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Finally he managed to say,
"Miss me much, princess?"
He wasn't dead, more like a long-term recovery, he felt as good as dead when he told her to leave him, now he was more alive than then the last time he saw her. 235 words
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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 27, 2018 17:34:43 GMT -5
my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
She had believed he had died. She had walked away from him and left him to die. She shouldn’t have left him, she should have stayed. She went to him for comfort and in the end hadn’t been able to comfort him. It hadn’t helped that Fennelweb had cut ties with her at his own free will, she had felt so empty. All she had wanted was him to come into camp, yowling that it was a joke.
But it wasn’t, yet he was somehow here? It was too much for her. The skinny blue she started shaking slightly, taking hiccupping breaths. ”Of course I missed you, dipshit” Her voice was a mess, shaking and stuttering. The tears flooded down her face as she took a step forward, pressing her face into his neck.
She just wanted to breath him in. The sense that he would flee at any moment was still racing through her, even though she knew he hadn’t gotten sick on purpose. ”W-where have you been?” She took a step back, looking him over. ”I-it’s been moons”
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2018 20:08:15 GMT -5
tell me about it, we are all lost inside
Feeling unsure in his sentences, he quietly mewed,
"Miss you too, Blue - "
He paused for a while and looked at her as she rest her head on his neck, she was right its been a long time, he got his warriors name 2 moon after he gotten back to shadowclan. Ever since he gotten back, he had never seen Bluepaw. Did she get her warriors cat name yet. Its all a wonder. To start, he answered her question,
"A rogue found me, she brought me to a place and helped me"
Newtstorm mewed in a low growl. Bluepaw should know about Red, but Newtstorm didn't tell. If he told her that the rogue, bought him in and he decided to stay for a while, Bluepaw would never forgive him. The rogue, he wondered, Red? Are you still out there? He sighed, all his feeling for Red was finished, after she tricked him into travelling into the city with her. He's back in the clan and he's here to stay not for any of Red crummy tricks. He nested his jaw on Bluepaw's head and mewed softly,
"So what's your warriors name now . . ." 235 words
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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 27, 2018 20:25:00 GMT -5
my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
”I’m glad she found and helped you” Again that guilty feeling wriggling around in her stomach. She should have been the one to help him, not leave him to die. Why had she been so damn selfish? She had been scared of watching him died and she left. ”You should hate me” She murmured ever so slightly.
She had changed since them, she would never leave Maxie to die. Would she? Was she still that terrible.? As he rested his jaw on her head she was brought some comfort. He couldn’t hate her that much. The cats close to her knew that, as bitchy as she was, she was super sensitive to the cats she cared about. Newtstorm was one.
”I don’t have one” She let out a long sigh, trying to keep her voice from shaking. ”I got held back, Shadowclan couldn’t take my asshole-ness, and I don’t think Winclan either” taking another deep breath she meowed ”Do you have one?” For the past couple of moons she couldn’t be fucked to try and earn her warrior name back, but now she wanted to.
She had wanted to become a warrior to be with Fennelweb, now she wanted to become a warrior to be with Maxie. She was already regretting her previous actions.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2018 20:38:25 GMT -5
tell me about it, we are all lost inside
Glad. Of course there was times to be glad. Newtstorm felt so bad at that points,
"Why should I hate you?"
He tilted his head to look at her. He looked at her and sighed,
"That's too bad, now you are going to stay an apprentice forever"
He joked, hoping to brighten up the spirits. He looked at her blue eyes and sighed,
"So much has changed, hasn't it . . ."
His green eyes was still dull, pressing his jaws by her neck. It took a whiff of her sniff, it was no longer the fresh scent of the forest. It was replace by the musty smell of flowers in the WindClan camp. Suddenly his eyes narrowed, and his face was serious,
"Why'd you leave ShadowClan?"
He turned away, as he mewed,
"Have a treated treated you that bad for you to run away . . ." 235 words
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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 27, 2018 20:56:32 GMT -5
my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
”Because I left you! I was so, so afraid of watching you die so I left. I was a horrible person, I should have stayed. I should have been there for you” Her voice was shaky again. She was such a horrible, horrible person. It would be easier if he hated her, but it’s not supposed to be easy for her. She should suffer, yes.
”Maybe I will stay an apprentice forever” She let out a long exhale. ”But you didn’t… If I hadn’t left Shadowclan I would know what” Leaving Shadowclan had been one of the best ideas she had came up with foa whilele and she didn’t regret it… but she regretted not seeing him there.
”Shadowclan just wasn’t the place for me, too many memories and nothing to comfort me” She shook her head ”I’m happy now, as happy as I can be” It was kind of a lie. She had happy points in her life that covered her unhappy points.
”No one has ever treated me the way they shouldn’t, I completely understand if you don’t want to be my friend”
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2018 11:29:58 GMT -5
tell me about it, we are all lost inside
He just looked at her then sighed. Why did I think thing would go back to how it was. He looked at her and mewed,
"You not a horrible person, I just-"
He paused and then continued,
"thought nevermind..."
He parted away from her slowly,
"At least you are happy..."
He looked at her and thought, ' without me ' He looked at her and then paused,, not knowing what to say. It seems like she already like someone else, would it be okay to tell her about Red..
235 words
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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 28, 2018 19:25:59 GMT -5
my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
Bluepaw shook her head ”But I am a horrible person” Her voice was firm, even if her eyes were bright again ”I’m going to try and change it, Newt, I’m going to be here for you, I promise. I’m your friend, and friends don’t leave friends.” She was determined, you could see it in the hard glint in her eye.
As he stepped away, she shook her slender shoulders and took a step back. ”I am happy in ways. A couple of weeks ago I wouldn’t have been, but I found this tom” She paused, it was so hard to explain how she felt about Maxie ”He makes me want to be a better version of myself, it’s like he’s leading the way and I’m following wilfully” A scarlet blush flushed across her blue cheeks ”It’s hard to explain”
She had felt sparks for the tom standing in front of her, and maybe they were still there but they were dwarfed by her flames by Maxie. She wasn’t here to reignite the sparks to flames, but she would do everything in her power to become the perfect friend for the tom she had left.
She then looked at his expression ”Do you need to tell me something?”
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2018 19:49:06 GMT -5
tell me about it, we are all lost inside
"No, I just thought," It already too late for him. Its like the moons they spent together suddenly. It was all fine, Newtstorm sat down and tilt his head away from her and mewed, "Remember the rogue I talked about . . ." His thoughts were unstable but his voice was smooth as honey. He looked at her then at his paws, "I am glad you have feeling for someone else, or I would've have find this hard telling you..." His crimson pelt shone, turning towards Bluepaw. His eyes flared a bright emerald green. "You see"
He has spent the last few moons with Red. They spent tons of times together. At times he forgotten Bluepaw. There were regrets, and many were positive actions. At times when his flank was on hers, he thought it was okay to stay" 235 words
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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 28, 2018 20:07:48 GMT -5
my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
”Yes I remember the rogue you talked about” She murmured quietly. At what he said next she simply sat down, tilting her head to the side. She knew she had no right to feel jealous, that she was dating someone. Yet he stayed away to be with a rogue. He stayed away and didn’t tell her so he could stay with a rogue.
It was so hard to bite down on the hurt, when she knew she kinda deserved it. The rogue had taken in Newt when she hadn’t, she should be thanking this rogue. She took a deep breath before meowing in a calm tone ”I’m glad you found someone, Newtstorm, I really am. She found you and healed you, she was good for you”
She exhaled very slowly ”I guess it makes it easier, right? We were both tied up, or still are, which means we can just be friends, right?” Her voice not sounding doubtful, even though she was confused at what was between them ”Put everything behind us and be the best of friends, and nothing more?”
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2018 20:25:35 GMT -5
Newtstorm stared at her and then nodded, "I am no longer with Red . . ." He stared down at her and then mewed, "I won't understand" Newtstorm looked at her then turned away and stood up. Its too hard to explain.
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Post by Ferntrail on Jul 30, 2018 23:21:15 GMT -5
my life was black and grey | until i saw you |
Bluepaw was about to say something when she thought she saw her half-brother’s pelt. She instantly froze up eyes training on the heavily cobwebbed figure. ”Newtstorm, I’m sorry but I have to dash off, please wait here” Her words were knocking up against each other, her throat feeling swollen. All the emotions she had kept at bay when Newtstorm had bumped into her were rushing into her and where about to flood over. Blinking back tears she shook her head ”Please” Such a desperate, begging word, so unlike Bluepaw.
--
When Bluepaw finally headed back she felt like her brain was about to explode. She had managed to tell her brother her big news but she still didn’t know how she felt. He hated her right now and she couldn’t talk to him, what the fuck had she been thinking?
You could tell by the slump of her shoulders, tilt of her chin that she was demoralized. A river was being formed in her good eye, causing her vision to blur. As she looked to where Newtstorm should be she spotted a tom that looked like him. With her vision being a shit-hole right now she couldn’t tell if it was really him but she rushed over anyway.
”N-newtstorm. I need to tell you something, I already know you're not going to like it but I have no one to talk to. S-something happened. I don’t know if it was good or bad but it was an accident. I’m not ready, Newtstorm. I-I’m not saying it’s his fault and neither is it mine, but I can’t take it, Newtstorm! I just want to sleep, sleep it off, but I can’t” She was blubbering, she could tell, but it was so hard for her. She had tried her best to be strong in front of her special one, but he didn’t know the feelings she felt towards this.
"Newtstorm, I need you"
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